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What Can You Do if Your Spouse Takes an Extreme Position During Divorce or Family Law Proceedings: An Inspired Approach (Part 2)

Daniel Noffsinger - Wednesday, September 21, 2016

In our last post we explored strategies and tips on how to deal with an ex who takes an extreme position during divorce or family law proceedings. The first tip provided was to have realistic expectations. In this next installment, we will outline additional tips to help you navigate roadblocks to settlements in divorce and family law proceedings. If the parties cannot agree to a settlement of their disagreement among themselves or with their lawyers, the dispute will be decided by a judge in the divorce or family law proceeding. There are many court supported mediation programs available to litigants in Colorado. Consult a divorce or family law attorney for the options available in your situation. The analogy that I often use is that you and your ex can sit down and take things apart with a scalpel, as precise as you’d like; or, you can let the judge take an ax to it.

Listen to Your Ex

George Mitchell, another former U.S. Secretary of State, points out when asked about the best way to resolve disputes that, “the challenge is not to get people to talk – but to get them to listen.” As difficult as the mission may seem, listen to what your ex is saying.

Understand the Roadblocks

Let Emma Goldman, an anarchist feminist writer in the late 1800s be your guide: “Before we can forgive one another, we have to understand one another.” Seek to understand what the real issue is, even if you do not agree with your ex’s position. Focus instead on your ex’s motivation in maintaining a position and address that first.

Be Creative

The solution to an impasse may lay with trying a creative approach to solve the problem. For Albert Einstein, a physicist, “Creativity is intelligence having fun.” Pablo Picasso, an artist, on the other hand posits, “Are we to print what on the face, what’s inside the face, or what’s behind it?” Choose creative solutions to solve the dispute – there may be more than one way to solve a problem.

Keep Your Children in Mind

The separation or divorce is among the spouses and partners, not the children. Keep them in mind during the negotiations. They benefit from a harmonious relationship between the parents and a prompt solution to the proceedings and conflicts. Do not put them in the middle. Do not disparage the other parent. The kids are not interested in the problem but remain committed to seeing both parents happy. This is a situation in which it is best to take the high road.

Consult an Experienced Colorado Springs Divorce Lawyer

If you are looking for ways to legally end a marriage or fix parenting rights following the break-up of a relationship by negotiating the various divorce and family law agreements without going to court, consult and get advice from an experienced Colorado Springs Divorce and Family Law Lawyer. Contact Noffsinger Law to schedule a free consultation.